Damn… do I feel horrible… So… it’s been… over 48 hours since I last got any sleep. I’ve been crying so much that I no longer have tears left and my eyes hurt even worse than yesterday. On top my head is pounding, my stomach feels horrible and my leg hurts like a bitch.
One thing I found out yesterday – if you’re gonna be drinking whiskey with painkillers make sure you have food in your stomach or otherwise you’ll throw it up in no time and you will fail at doing whatever you were trying to do. Gh… I can’t believe I went there again last night… it’s been like… four years since my last… “failure”… not that I started drinking with the intention of doing anything… I was just in pain… all of me… and I took a painkiller and decided to wash it down with a glass of whiskey… then another painkiller and another glass… and then I just thought… maybe if I finish all my painkillers and the whiskey all the pain was going to be gone… but I was wrong… I think I was at the fifth glass when I got sick and went to the bathroom to throw up everything… Then I got just angry with everything and “dropped” (more like smashed) the bottle on the floor. Then I stepped on it and got a cut on the bottom of my right foot. And the blood freaked me out and I went to the ER… lol… funny thing that they gave me painkillers for the pain too. *sighs* even the doctors didn’t bother to ask how come I got the cut. Just bandaged it up, gave me some shot to not get infected and sent me back home…
I feel simply dead on the inside right now…. I think I lost for good one of my friends yesterday… and I’m sure I might be losing some of my writing partners and friends as well… and I’m sure soon I will lose everyone… I’m really not worth living… And I do deserve nothing but pain… I’m a horrible selfish person…
2 comments:
-Smacks-
Do not think to push moi away, Izu. Not going anywhere so get use to it.
I'm over on yahoo if you ever want to talk *Points* Seriously.
-Nims
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